Am I screwed??? ?

I just had with a girl with and i used a condom and i'm losing my mind. it's seriously the scariest **** ever like i knew and i wrapped up and also she told me after she missed a few days of medicine after the deed was done and now i'm really thinking ill things towards myself and her and 1 hr hasn't even ped since ...Truth is i booked right after cuz i got scared i'd hit her or whatever but yeah....Can i get it if my testicles even make the slightest bit of contact......For god sakes i even poured bleach on my junk out of desperation...I know i'm nut for doing this but am i totally screwed.